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Writer, editor, activist. Featured at HuffPo and MSNBC.com.  Creator of the original We Are Woman. Married mom. 

Sunday, November 25, 2018

We can celebrate Christmas again!



My mother loved Christmas, but she was afraid to celebrate it. Our tree was only lit during the day, and I remember Mom wrapping gifts by candlelight, all the curtains drawn, just in case. I asked her once why she did all this, and pulling me into her closet, she whispered "They don't want us to celebrate Christmas." I wanted to know who "they" were; she never told me.

As I got older, I too began celebrating Christmas in secret. Our beautiful tree, laden with ornaments I inherited when Mom passed away, would sparkle only from noon to three. I wrapped gifts in our windowless bathroom. If I caught myself humming a Christmas carol in public, I would stop and glance around, looking for the Christmas Cops™. 

All that changed with the election of Donald Trump. During his campaign, Mr. Trump said many times we would be able to say "Merry Christmas" again. We all knew what he meant: we can celebrate Christmas again! 

No more fear of being thrown in a FEMA camp for wearing a Christmas tree brooch. No more being dragged from our homes in the dead of night because we forgot to unplug the lights on the roof. No more being slapped by retail clerks when we reply to their "Happy Holidays!" with "Merry Christmas!". No more shopping only with cash wearing a fake mustache and a baseball hat. 

We can come out of hiding! We can sing "Jingle Bells" at the tops of our lungs, we can wear Christmas pins and earrings and sweaters and socks! We can drink peppermint cocoa, and eat decorated sugar cookies. We can write letters to Santa, and actually mail them! We can finally celebrate the birth of Jesus Christ!

Thanks to President Donald Trump, Christmas is illegal no more. Malls will be festooned with garlands and lights, instead of the drab, Christmas-less decorations of yesteryear. Christmas music will resound everywhere, instead of the usual secular pop music like Britney Spears and M.C. Hammer. I can keep the Christmas tree lit after the sun goes down! No more wrapping gifts in the bathroom-I can use the kitchen table! And keep the curtains open!

It's a very exciting time to be alive in America. The long, dark nights of celebrating Christmas in secret are over, thanks to Donald Trump. We do not need to be afraid to belt out "White Christmas," or "Baby It's Cold Outside," or "Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer." Especially "White Christmas." Rumor has it, that's President Trump's favorite Christmas carol!

So, from our family to yours, Merry Christmas! And if you say anything other than that back, I'll shoot you. 

Friday, November 9, 2018

Sean Hannity gives Jim Acosta a lesson in journalistic ethics

Image from NYMag.com

Sean Hannity is besotted with Donald Trump. It is likely that Sean Hannity has a poster of Donald Trump taped to the ceiling over his bed, and he stares at Trump's visage lovingly every night before falling asleep. Hannity probably has a diary, and the pages are covered with little hearts in which Sean writes "President Trump" over and over again.

It is his undying adoration for Trump that often inspires Sean Hannity to say things the rest of us find obtuse, hypocritical, nuttier than squirrel poo, and just plain wrong. Case in point: On Thursday, Sean Hannity decided to give journalist Jim Acosta a lesson in journalistic ethics. 

Wednesday morning, after Democrats regained the House, Donald Trump held a press conference. It began horribly, and went completely off the rails in about fifteen minutes. During this bizarre performance, Trump told a female black reporter (Yamiche Alcindor) her question about nationalism was "racist," told another female black reporter (April Ryan) to sit down, and ordered his executive assistant to assault Jim Acosta. 

Trump hates Jim Acosta. If he could get away with it, Trump would try to have Jim Acosta "disappeared." But we have this pesky thing called the First Amendment, so on Wednesday, Trump did the next best thing. 

Jim Acosta was trying to ask Trump questions about the caravan and the domestic terror attack on Democratic current and former politicians with pipe bombs by a fervent Trump supporter. Well, Trump wasn't having any of that, since the purpose of the press conference was Trump shaming Republicans who lost on Tuesday, and lying about the election results. 

As Jim Acosta kept being a journalist, a woman suddenly sort of crawled over to him, stood up, and attempted to yank the microphone out of his hand. As anyone would, Acosta reacted with surprise, and as the woman kept grabbing the mic, his hand brushed her arm. Or, as conservatives are reporting it, he beat the absolute shit out of her right there in the East Room.

Paul Something Watkins (Watson? Wilson? Whatever?) with Info Whores Wars found video of the remarkable attempted assault of Jim Acosta, doctored the living daylights out of it, published it, Sarah Huckabee Sanders found that doctored video, and retweeted it from her official government Twitter account. Then the White House yanked Jim Acosta's press pass.

Which brings us to Thursday evening and Sean Hannity. Now, it's important to note that Hannity wouldn't know an ethics violation if you wrapped one around a brick and threw it at him (don't do that), but Sean is nothing if not tenacious in his search for Bad Things To Say About People Smarter Than He Is. Sadly, almost everyone is smarter than Hannity, including my dog, mold, a box of hair, and Kid Rock. That last one might be pushing it. 

Please take a moment to watch Hannity, who is not an actual journalist, tell Jim Acosta, who is an actual journalist, all about journalism:



The guy who popped up on a stage next to Donald Trump to campaign for Republicans, and called journalists "fake news," wants to tell Jim Acosta how to be a journalist. Sean Hannity believes if a reporter asks Trump a hard question, or challenges Trump's endless lies, he or she has "*Trump Derangement Syndrome." The guy who said "The Western world is under constant threat from Islamic jihadists, but your first lady, Michelle Obama, is busy making a rap music video about going to college," and supported birtherism, wants to preach about being "unprofessional."

Jim Acosta was punished by a wannabe dictator for being a talented and honest journalist. Acosta, CNN, and other journalists are taking this event very seriously. You know what they're not taking seriously? Sean Hannity.

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