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Writer, editor, activist. Featured at HuffPo and MSNBC.com.  Creator of the original We Are Woman. Married mom. 

Sunday, September 30, 2018

I Am Not Brett Kavanaugh by Guest Writer Bart O'Kavanaugh



Up until last week, my life was fine. I was kind of happily married to my wife, Ashley Assy Ashy Amy?, my two daughters sons, Liaz and Market, were laughing and playing, and I was all set to be the next Supreme Court justice top salesman at Lanny's World of Cars. Then it all blew up because of a book written by my best friend in hig a guy I've never met, Mark Judge.

Let me tell you a little about myself. I was number one in my class at Georgetown Prep St. Ignatius's School for Wayward Boys. I worked my tail off to get into Yale ITT Tech. I love coaching girls' basketball Senior Soccer Saturday at the YMCA. Most importantly, I have never never been accused convicted of any kind of sexual assault.

And, yeah, I like beer. I like beer a lot. But in my defense, beer has wheat in it, so it's actually like bread. Whole wheat bread. Which is good for you. So I drink beer for breakfast, with a spoonful of marmalade. I drink beer for lunch, with a few pieces of honey-roasted turkey, lettuce, Kraft American cheese, and mayo. Dinner is usually whatever Ashley Ashton Ainsley Annie? whips up with a 12-pack of Bud Light Clamato, because I need my vitamins.

When I heard my name being thrown around during that hearing, I was shocked. I mean, that's my yearbook not my yearbook, and Mark was my best friend in is someone I've never met, and boofing is a totally awesome way to get black-out drunk is disgusting and I had to look it up online to find out what it even was.

None of this is my fault. As a white, rich, privileged Christian man normal, middle class, unassuming day drinker typical American man, I've been dragged into some sort of cesspool of innuendo, false allegations, and defamatory statements. My character has been attacked. Hell, I feel raped, and I'm not even in prison yet

Here's a neat fact: I'm drunk right now. Hell, yes I am, wouldn't you be? The Jesuits have abandoned me, the ABA, Yale Law, shit even my own WIFE no, I mean if your name was mudslinged slingedmud sling bladed wow I gotta piss.

Love,

Brett Kavanaugh Bart O'Kavanaugh

PS: That Brett is a good-lookin' guy, just saying.


Friday, September 21, 2018

Let the Rape Apology Shit Show Begin



Donald Trump, according to sources, has been chomping at the bit to go after Dr. Christine Blasey Ford. A White House official told Axios "Hopefully he can keep it together until Monday. That’s only, like, another 48 hours right?"

It's Friday, and the shit show has begun. Trump didn't "keep it together until Monday." He used his tiny hands to type truly offensive rape apologist and victim blaming comments on Twitter. 



Let's address this one first. The FBI doesn't get involved with sexual assault cases unless the crime(s) meet federal statutes. Why doesn't the president know this? Because he's a moron, and because he's been accused by 19 women of various acts of sexual harassment and violence, and because he's a misogynistic jagoff who wants his anti-choice judge on the Supreme Court so the evangelicals who are threatening not to vote in November will calm down.




This tweet was posted prior to the FBI dreck, at 6:14 AM. Odds are, there was no one in the bathroom with Trump, and thus, he was free to type whatever he wanted. And what he wanted was to blame the victim and her family.

Trump is not the only right-winger using social media to attack Dr. Ford. Conservatives are accusing her of lying, being a slut, asking why she went to a party in her bathing suit, and stating that she can't be believed since she waited so long to go public. Because when women report a rape right after it happens, we're trying to ruin a man's life, and if we wait, we're lying whores.

On the kinder side of Twitter, women and men have shared their truths, shared their experiences, and shared their deeply personal stories over the past week. Powerful, courageous, brave women and men, some of whom were talking about their sexual assaults for the first time. Those amazing women and men have been met with support, love, trust, and empathy.

I believe Dr. Ford because I waited 37 years to break my silence. 


If the past week has triggered emotions, anxiety, or you just need to talk to someone who understands, please contact RAINN.


Saturday, September 8, 2018

A Love Letter from Donald Trump to the Alt-Left

Image from MPR News
Dear my wonderful alt-left Americans,
As I sat next to the worst president in history today, Barack Hussein Obama, I couldn’t help but grin. Thanks in no small part to your tireless whining and desire for the perfect candidate, I am the president-elect. You were so focused on Crooked Hillary, you let me get away with everything. You ignored that I want to deport millions of Mexicans, you ignored that I want to ban Muslims and hopefully deport the ones who are already here, you ignored when I said we will be a nation under one God, and you really ignored how much my running mate hates the gays.
When Republican pussies (HA!) said they wouldn’t support me, or vote for me, I just waited. See, conservatives put party ahead of everything else. You could have done that, hell, you should have done that, but you refused. You wanted the old, white Socialist, with his special bird and his laser-like focus on hating rich people. Shit, when more centrist liberals tried to tell you about his gun votes, or that toxic waste, you put your hands over your ears and sang some stupid grunge song. Jesus, Sanders wrote some really weird article awhile back, where he claimed most women have rape fantasies, and you ignored that, too! It was awesome! Bigly awesome!
Plus, a lot of you alt-left folks are white, which played perfectly for me, especially the white feminists who voted for Jill Stein. You refuse to acknowledge that black feminists have a totally different experience than you do, and they’re pissed. It’s called intersectionality, and the only reason I know that is I thought it had something to do with sex. All feminists are awful, but the divide white privilege has caused-once again-got me elected. So thanks white feminists!


I have to mention US Uncut, a website almost solely dedicated to my election. You guys frigging rock. My God, even today, you’re blaming other liberals for my rise to power instead of preaching unity. Mind blowing. You’ve got an article headlined “Dear Neoliberal Democrats: This is Your Mess, Own It.” I almost fell out of my gold-plated chair when I read that. There’s another one claiming Bernie supporters are erupting with anger against the DNC, screaming “WE TOLD YOU SO” on Twitter. Wish I could see that, but someone took my Twitter away.
Here’s a secret: I would have beaten your cute little socialist, too. You know why? Because my supporters don’t think Black Lives Matter, they don’t want a higher minimum wage, and they believe they are one lottery ticket away from being the 1%. And they sure as hell don’t want the government paying for everything. My supporters think Blue Lives Matter, they think only minorities would benefit from a higher minimum wage, and they’re never, ever gonna be rich. Except-newsflash-most of the people who voted for me were at least upper middle class. This was never about jobs or the economy. This was about making America white and dominated by men. Suckers.
So, thank you, alt-left angry Bernie Bros, and thank you, US Uncut, for your support, for your anger, for ignoring all the horrible things I am going to do to minorities, and for hating Crooked Hillary more than you love this country.
Could not have done it without you!
All my best,
President Donald Trump
Edited version, originally published November of 2016 at Modern Liberals

Wednesday, September 5, 2018

Donald Trump's Horrible Very Bad No Good Day




Wednesday was a horrible very bad no good day for Donald Trump. His pet nominee for the Supreme Court, Brett "Abortion On Demand" Kavanaugh, was confronted by Democratic senators who see right through him. Bob Woodward's yet-to-be-released book, Fear: Trump in the White House, is number 1 on Amazon. And to add insult to injury, The New York Times published an op-ed written by Mike Pence an unnamed senior official in the White House. 

First, Brett Kavanaugh. Most people with active brain cells, and a smidgen of political acumen, understand Trump chose Kavanaugh because Kavanaugh has some rather unusual thoughts about indicting a sitting president. He doesn't think it should be done. Given that Trump is an unindicted co-conspirator, and his former lawyer Michael Cohen is singing like a canary, and the documentary Active Measures painstakingly proves Trump's connections to both the Russian government and the Russian mob, it would make his life so much easier if he had a guy on the Supreme Court he could really count on. 

Unless he eats a live baby during tomorrow's hearing, Brett Kavanaugh is going to be confirmed. God bless Senators Klobuchar, Feinstein, Coons, Harris, Durbin, Whitehouse, Blumenthal, and Hirono, though. They were tenacious, their questions were pointed and well phrased, and they are trying. But they seem to forget we're in Trump Land, where Newspeak is the only language allowed. Doublethink, joycamp, bellyfeel, blackwhite. Stick with us. Don't believe the crap you see from these people, the fake news. ... What you're seeing and what you're reading is not what's happening.

On to Bob Woodward, or as Trump calls him, a "Dem operative." Woodward's book relies on hours upon hours of taped interviews with members of the Trump administration. Taped interviews. So when Trump says "Isn’t it a shame that someone can write an article or book, totally make up stories and form a picture of a person that is literally the exact opposite of the fact, and get away with it without retribution or cost. Don’t know why Washington politicians don’t change libel laws?", he's claiming Bob Woodward's hours upon hours of tapes don't exist.

Bob Woodward's accomplishments are astounding. He has won nearly every major American journalism award, including the George Polk Award, and the Gerald R. Ford Prize for Reporting on the Presidency. Ari Fleischer, George W. Bush's former spokesman, tweeted “I’ve been on the receiving end of a Bob Woodward book. There were quotes in it I didn't like. But never once - never - did I think Woodward made it up. Anonymous sources have looser lips and may take liberties. But Woodward always plays [it] straight. Someone told it to him." (source)

Finally, the op-ed in The New York Times. It's fair to say Donald Trump is a fuming, raging mess thanks to Mike Pence's this unnamed senior official's article. During a photo op with a group of law enforcement officers, he spent a good three minutes bragging about himself and whining about fake news. He tweeted "Does the so-called 'Senior Administration Official' really exist, or is it just the Failing New York Times with another phony source? If the GUTLESS anonymous person does indeed exist, the Times must, for National Security purposes, turn him/her over to government at once!"

Trump also tweeted out "TREASON?", to which many people, including myself, responded "CONFESSION?"

So this was Donald Trump's horrible very bad no good day. Certainly not the first, and most definitely not the last.

You can pre-order Fear: Trump in the White House by visiting Bob Woodward's website.

Tuesday, September 4, 2018

Brett Kavanaugh Refuses to Shake the Hand of Dad Who Lost Daughter In Parkland Shooting

Image by Andrew Harkin for AP


See the man with his hand outstretched? That's Fred Guttenberg. His 14-year-old daughter, Jamie, was killed in the Parkland, Florida school massacre. See the man looking at Mr. Guttenberg with utter contempt? That's Brett Kavanugh, Donald Trump's nominee to the Supreme Court. 

Mr. Guttenberg wanted to shake Brett Kavanaugh's hand, and speak with him for a few moments. As soon as Mr. Guttenberg introduced himself, Kavanaugh looked at him with an expression that can only be described as loathing, and darted away. Brett Kavanaugh never shook Fred Guttenberg's hand. He ran away.

No matter your political views, no matter your views on guns, when a grieving father whose daughter was a victim of gun violence extends his hand to you, you take it. Unless, it would seem, you are Brett Kavanaugh. 

Right now, today, the Republican-held Senate is doing everything they can to rush Brett Kavanaugh onto the Supreme Court. They love his stance on guns (Kavanaugh is opposed to gun regulation), they love his views on abortion (Kavanaugh dissented on a recent case involving a pregnant undocumented teenager), and Trump is giddy that Kavanaugh does not believe a sitting president can or should be indicted (it's important to note Kavanaugh expressed this belief, but has never said his view is supported by the Constitution). 

In a way, it makes sense that Brett Kavanaugh would treat Fred Guttenberg with such disrespect. After all, he was chosen by the narcissistic sociopath in the White House.

White Conservatives are Boycotting Nike by Setting Money on Fire

Image from Twitter

On Monday, Nike revealed the new campaign for the 30th anniversary of their slogan, "Just Do It." The person Nike chose to be the face of this campaign is Colin Kaepernick, the former NFL quarterback who was the first player to kneel during the national anthem. Kaeperneck knelt to protest the inequality and injustice that affects African Americans every day in this country. 

When white conservatives learned of Nike's decision, they began using social media to express their outrage. More accurately, they began taking photos and videos of themselves destroying Nike apparel they already owned, calling on others to join the "boycott." Paying for something, then cutting it up or setting it on fire, is not a boycott. That's just stupidity.

And why are white conservatives posting videos of themselves attacking their socks and shorts with scissors, or setting expensive athletic shoes on fire? Because they have no idea what it's like to be black in the Divided States of America. Because having white skin means they will never be shot during a routine traffic stop, or followed around a store by security, or pulled over for DWW (driving while white). 

Angry white conservatives are making such a big deal out of Nike choosing Colin Kaepernick that Reuters, an actual news organization, with actual journalists, featured an article about Nike on their website Tuesday morning. Nike stock fell 2%. #NikeBoycott is trending on Twitter. Yes, ignorant white conservatives are affecting Nike's stock prices, all because they vehemently refuse to even try and understand why Colin Kaepernick knelt.

Conservatives feel that a black man kneeling during a song written by a man who owned slaves is unpatriotic. Conservatives feel that the National Anthem is sacred, in spite of the fact that when it's played at sporting events, many spectators stay seated, go to the restroom, buy food, talk or text on their phone, or continue drinking beer. One white man on Twitter went so far as to accuse Nike of "forcing" him to choose between shoes and country:

First the @NFL forces me to choose between my favorite sport and my country. I chose country. Then @Nike forces me to choose between my favorite shoes and my country. Since when did the American Flag and the National Anthem become offensive?

No one is "forcing" conservatives to do anything. All of this fake outrage is their choice, as is their racism and ignorance. Nike did not force a bunch of idiotic white men to set money on fire by burning $200 athletic shoes they already own.

But the institutionalized and systemic racism in this country forced Colin Kaepernick and others to kneel, because as the Nike ad reads, you have to believe in something. Even if it means sacrificing everything.

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